Late last year we published the first post in a two-part series on dealing with this ‘subscriber dilemma’. In part one we explored how to plan for conflict, outrage and emotion when you know it’s likely to arise. Today, in part two, we’re talking about tips for working with high emotion in the moment – when you didn’t expect or plan for it at all.
It’s a common fear - a ‘worst case scenario’ for many facilitators and practitioners. We get it – the idea of walking into a room of outraged participants and being completely unprepared is scary. People worry they will freeze or panic, and they fear watching a session or process spiral out of control. Whether you’re a facilitator or someone that plans or is involved in any way in engagement processes, if you worry about high emotion situations, this post is for you.
TODAY’S CHALLENGE:
Working with a hostile audience when emotions are high (part two)
When we feel vulnerable, exposed or attacked, our natural defences want to switch on and ‘protect’ us from harm. Unfortunately, our natural defences can also make us behave in a way that can further inflame a high emotion situation. Normal human responses such as becoming defensive, delivering lots of facts or trying to control, fix or ‘manage’ other peoples’ emotions tend to increase outrage and lead to conflict rather than diffuse it.
10 Quick tips: Working with unexpected conflict, outrage or emotion in the moment
So what can you do in the ‘heat of the moment’?
Obviously if you feel you, your colleagues or any other participants are in any form of danger, you need to follow emergency procedures in line with your work occupational health and safety processes.
However, if you’re simply dealing with people expressing emotion (which may present as anger, grief, passion or something else), then the following tips might help you work with it more effectively.
Many of the following tips could apply to multiple contexts – not just a group situation where you are running or facilitating a session, meeting or event. For example, a small group or on-on one situation (i.e. where you’re talking to one or a few people in any context) or a ‘presentation’ type scenario (i.e. where you’re addressing or speaking to a group).
1. Manage your own emotions
Observe your own reactions/emotions for a moment. This can be difficult when you’re put on the spot, but it’s one of the most important steps you can take. Notice what you’re feeling. If it’s defensive, fearful, angry or controlling (or another unhelpful emotion), take a deep breath and ask yourself whether you can put that to one side for a moment, and let your calm, professional and reasonable side come to the fore.
2. Avoid taking it personally
Remember it’s rarely about you. Participants’ emotions are usually connected to bigger issues or historical contexts. You’re here to listen to what they have to say, understand their issues more deeply and help them feel genuinely heard by the decision makers or organisation, not defend a position or force information on them.
3. Start ‘gauging’ concern levels and understanding the issue immediately
As soon as you walk in, before the meeting or session starts, get a sense of concern levels. Introduce yourself and gently ask questions like “what brought you along today?”, “what do you want to achieve?”, ‘what thoughts have you brought with you today?’, or “what questions would you like answered?”. The responses (and tone of these responses) will inform you about the general ‘vibe’ and give you clues as to what to expect when the session begins.
4. Ask people what they want
Ask a group what they need and where they need to go with a conversation to feel more comfortable. See also tip 10 below.
5. Create a simple agenda
Don’t try to do too much. Keep it very simple. Clearly state what the meeting is about (aims), outline some simple guidelines for behaviour/how we work, and get into the listening/open conversation piece.
6. Be prepared to drop your plans
If you had other ‘plans’ for a session and you don’t get to them – don’t worry. When people are emotional it is best to slow everything down and make space to hear them. This might take a large portion (or all) of your time together. Never force information, presentations, activities, ‘experts’ or content on people until they say they’re ready.
7. Listen actively
When working with people showing signs of outrage, you don’t just need to listen, you need actively show that you’re listening. Active listening (using skills like paraphrasing and summarising) are good conversational practices that apply to any interaction but are crucial in this context.
8. Record what people say
Capture peoples’ comments and tell them what you will do with what they’ve told you. Record them visually, so everyone can see that what they’ve said hasn’t been lost or misinterpreted. Ensure you respect this input, write it up afterwards and share with those who were present as a sign of follow-through and commitment.
9. Acknowledge the differences
Directly acknowledge differences and tension points – don’t gloss over them or rush through them (even if you’re feeling a bit uncomfortable). Openly explore the issue with people, and seek clarification wherever needed.
10. Take your time
Invite people to tell you what they’re concerned about and let the group take the time they want and need to express themselves.
Look for signs (which might include both what people are saying and body language) that people feel heard and want to move on before moving forward. You can also ask the group (when you think the time is right) and see whether they are willing to move on to the work that you were expecting to do.
The trick here is not to move on when you feel comfortable to do so, nor when a small minority wants you to ‘get on with it’. You move on when the vast majority of people are saying they are ready.
If you move forward too quickly the group will give you a sign – signals such as interjecting when a speaker is presenting, murmuring in the background within a small group or simply stopping the speaker or facilitator from continuing are all signs they need to be heard more before the session continues.
REACH OUT WHEN YOU NEED TO
Working with conflict, outrage and emotion is a specialist skill, and it always helps to have an experienced facilitator working with you and your participants.
Ensure that you don’t inflame an issue by placing unskilled staff in front of stakeholders or community members. Putting unprepared people in a conflict situation can not only lead to damaged relationships, it can also have a negative impact on individuals and cause stress.
If you do need assistance, it pays to get in touch with a facilitator as early as possible to ensure they can work with you to plan the process effectively.
FURTHER READING
Peter Sandman is a world-renowned risk communication expert. His website contains a whole host of resources and information around working with outrage and emotion.
Additionally, the following case studies look at examples of how we’ve worked with conflict, outrage or emotion in the past:
We’re working on a few new case studies in 2019, so keep an eye on our blog or subscribe to our newsletter r The Discussion to stay in the loop.
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Over to you
Have you ever experienced a hostile audience? Was it planned or unexpected? We’d love to hear from you! Share your stories in the comments below.